Don't pray when you feel like it...

This sounds backwards, I know. Bear with me.

If you don't know Corrie ten Boom's story, I encourage you to do some reading. The best source is her own book, The Hiding Place, but some online reading would give you a great understanding also. I read The Hiding Place during one of the hardest times in my life. I was throwing a rocking pity party for myself and doing some fabulous wallowing. Seriously, it was impressive. And while I was dealing with one of the toughest challenges I had faced yet in life, I needed some perspective and some hope. My aunt mailed me this book, along with a prayer that I would find what I needed within the pages. This is really a long story for another day, but by the end of this book, Corrie was my new hero. So this quote from her really struck me hard, especially since it relates to something I've been struggling with lately.

Lots of changes are coming up in my life. I'm pretty sure that nothing can make you feel as completely unprepared as trying to prepare for a baby. At this point in life, with all the emotions that go with it (special shout out to pregnancy hormones!), it's so easy to stress. And goodness, there is so much to justify stressing about! But late at night, when the whispers start creeping in and worry starts to suffocate, panic seems like the best option.

God has been trying to get my attention for some time, trying to show me that there is a better way to deal with the unknown and all the change that is looming ahead. And the best way is to draw closer to Him. He is my Savior, my lifeline, but so often, quality time trying to get close to Him is pushed to the bottom of the do to list. There's an assurance that comes with knowing that He'll be there anytime we call, even if it's been years. Unfortunately, that can lead us to become complacent. When I know that I'll always be welcomed back, it's easier to stray away.

So this week, I have new goals and a new commitment. I'm committing to rising early and starting my day with God. This is easier said than done most days. With a husband that is usually getting home around midnight or later and I'm having to work at 8am, most mornings, I take every bit of sleep I can get! My relationship with my God has to be a priority though. So I can spare 20 or 30 minutes of sleep to connect with Him and take a nap later if I need to. I'm learning how important it is to start my day with God, how much differently my day will go when I make that a priority.

I have a new Bible study plan (more on that later), a new binder (yes, I have a sickness), and a new perspective.

"Don't pray when you feel like it. Make an appointment with God and keep it. A [wo]man is powerful on his [her] knees."