Don't pray when you feel like it...

This sounds backwards, I know. Bear with me.

If you don't know Corrie ten Boom's story, I encourage you to do some reading. The best source is her own book, The Hiding Place, but some online reading would give you a great understanding also. I read The Hiding Place during one of the hardest times in my life. I was throwing a rocking pity party for myself and doing some fabulous wallowing. Seriously, it was impressive. And while I was dealing with one of the toughest challenges I had faced yet in life, I needed some perspective and some hope. My aunt mailed me this book, along with a prayer that I would find what I needed within the pages. This is really a long story for another day, but by the end of this book, Corrie was my new hero. So this quote from her really struck me hard, especially since it relates to something I've been struggling with lately.

Lots of changes are coming up in my life. I'm pretty sure that nothing can make you feel as completely unprepared as trying to prepare for a baby. At this point in life, with all the emotions that go with it (special shout out to pregnancy hormones!), it's so easy to stress. And goodness, there is so much to justify stressing about! But late at night, when the whispers start creeping in and worry starts to suffocate, panic seems like the best option.

God has been trying to get my attention for some time, trying to show me that there is a better way to deal with the unknown and all the change that is looming ahead. And the best way is to draw closer to Him. He is my Savior, my lifeline, but so often, quality time trying to get close to Him is pushed to the bottom of the do to list. There's an assurance that comes with knowing that He'll be there anytime we call, even if it's been years. Unfortunately, that can lead us to become complacent. When I know that I'll always be welcomed back, it's easier to stray away.

So this week, I have new goals and a new commitment. I'm committing to rising early and starting my day with God. This is easier said than done most days. With a husband that is usually getting home around midnight or later and I'm having to work at 8am, most mornings, I take every bit of sleep I can get! My relationship with my God has to be a priority though. So I can spare 20 or 30 minutes of sleep to connect with Him and take a nap later if I need to. I'm learning how important it is to start my day with God, how much differently my day will go when I make that a priority.

I have a new Bible study plan (more on that later), a new binder (yes, I have a sickness), and a new perspective.

"Don't pray when you feel like it. Make an appointment with God and keep it. A [wo]man is powerful on his [her] knees."

With All My Heart

This week, I made a leap. One of my best girlfriends and I signed up weeks ago to participate in our first online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries. To be totally honest, I didn't kno what to expect going into this. It almost seemed like an online study was a way to be "involved" without being really committed. And maybe that's what I was looking for. But that's certainly not what I got!

This week, I'm digging into Deut. 6:5, "Love the Lord, your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength."

It's a verse that I learned way back in Sunday school at the ripe old age of about five and I've been hearing it ever since. It's hard to take something so familiar and try to really dive into it. But I was determined. My friend, Stephanie, and I have challenged each other to make these six weeks count and I'm going to put my all into this study. As a result, I'm going to get so much out of it. Sitting on the sidelines won't get me anywhere.

So let's break down this verse that we all know so well...

LOVE: Love is passionate, love is intense, love means going deep.

ALL: This word makes of 3 of the 16 words in this verse. That's got to mean it's important. All means just that...ALL. Not a partial piece, not some, not most, but ALL. One hundred percent.

HEART: I think refers to the emotional side of my life. My emotions, my desires, my passions, my feelings.

SOUL: The eternal part of myself. The part of my that aches for God.

STRENGTH: My phycial body, my phyiscal capabilities.

Suddenly, this verse that I've known for all these years has come to life in a whole new way.

I am to passionately devote every little bit of my emotions, my eternal self and my physical body to my God.

Now that I've broken this down and really meditated on it the last few days, this is really becoming a huge focal point in my life. Throughout my day, there is a constant whisper in my mind, reminding me to love my God with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength.

God is doing some incredible things in my heart these days and something huge is coming soon.

How awesome is He?? =)