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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Is it October yet?

Only 36 more working days til my hubby is back with me! Six months ago, I thought this day would never I feel like I'm running out of time! I've been feeling totally overwhelmed this week with trying to coordinate our move, figure out a schedule, deal with our current landlords, get started on packing and just general life pressures! Monday, I really lost my cool. Tried to have a reasonable conversation with a woman, tried to work out a solution to issue #5289, but no luck. Things kind of escalated, everyone got emotional and I just had to leave. The plus side was that I channeled all that angry energy into packing and in about 5 hours, I got most everything packed that I can this far in advance! We still have every day kitchen ware, minimal clothes (we will be wearing the same 4 outfits for the next several weeks) and bathroom stuff, but everything else is boxed and stacked in the spare room! Tuesday, I was still holding on to so much of that anger, but was out of busy work to do! So I found some more things that I could pack, then spent the rest of my evening knitting, reading and praying. I've come to find that knitting can be incredibly meditative. It's quiet, busy work that requires you to just be still. In that stillness is the freedom to just come to God. In that quiet time with God, I came to find forgiveness towards the woman I had had my "growth opportunity" with, forgiveness for myself regarding my reactions and the peace that only comes with really, truly turning your worries and anxieties over to the God that loves you so completely! There's an incredible peace that comes with the understanding that God sees me. The God of the universe SEES me, exactly where I am. He sees my troubles, my concerns and all the small worries that cloud my vision. But more than that, He sees the big picture. He sees what the long term plan is for my life. And He knows that His plan is perfect and will guide me to a joy that I could never anticipate for myself or my family. I've been trying to wrap my head around this concept for a few months now. It's staggering to think about. But when you finally accept the truth in this, there is incredible freedom to be found in casting all your cares on the One who sees you!

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