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Monday, July 29, 2013

"I prayed for this child"

Having a baby is huge. It's a great big deal and it can be terrifying. It's also pretty arrogant. It's the assumption that you and your spouse, of all the people in the world, are qualified to create a human being. It's assuming that you can mold a person to be polite and sensible and kind, not that obnoxious woman at the grocery store or the jerk in a traffic jam.
There are no little feet pitter pattering in our home yet, but I have been in the habit of praying for our future children. Parents are always praying for their children, as they should be. But what about those of us who are still waiting for our little "borrowed blessings"? (I'll explain that term later)
I've been working on a knit blanket for our precious bundle, while I wait for him or her to finally appear. And while I knit, I pray. I love Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel 1:27-28. "I prayed for this I give him to the Lord." While my fingers work to knit together my humble creation, I imagine our God knitting together my child. And I am amazed.
I pray that whatever children we have will give themselves over to God, wholly and without hesitation. But I also pray that I will be able to give over my children. That I will be able to acknowledge that the God loves them so much more than I will ever imagine, even as a mother. I can't wait for the day that I take this blanket that I made with my own hands and wrap it around my child that the God of the universe made. I feel like I'll be wrapping my child in the physical evidence of my prayers. How wonderful will that be??

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